Secrets

minab

 

“Tilt my chin back slit my throat take a bath in my blood get to know me all out of my secrets… – Alexander

I want you to get to know me beyond my thick skin.
I want you to get to know me on a level where intimacy meets darkness.
I want you to understand me and my feelings.
I want you to know about every sick bone in my body and every ache in my soul.
I want you to know that I am human. But I have the traits of an overgrown primate with an ego.
I want you to know that I am self-destructive.
I want to know that you can be brave enough to confront me when my cynicism becomes my compass.
I want you to know that I don’t need you, but I choose to have you.
I want you to know that even in the midst of my silence, my lack of words are telling you a story.
I want you to know that a part of me is full of darkness, but my light is an ember glow that radiates within my soul and penetrates into my hearts abyss.
I want you to know that I have moments where I am weak, and I don’t want you to tell me that I am strong.
I want you to know that the secrets I withhold from you every day are on display for you to see when you allow your eyes pierce into my soul.
I want you to know that I am golden rose waiting to flourish in a field full of thorns.
I want you to know that most of whom I relate to are already dead.
I want you to know that I have embraced my flaws, my scars, and my open wounds, so please do not try to heal them.
I want you to know that I am selfish with my love.
I want you to know that I cry often and I flow in my own rivers of tears in order to get to dry land.
I want you to know that I once created a masterpiece out of my own blood.
I simply want you to know me underneath my bronze toned skin, under my L’Oreal curled lashes, and underneath my drunken smile.

I want you to know me, because I want you to understand the process that it has taken to build this delicate temple. I want you to understand how in the midst of my brokenness I am still a city built upon a hill that cannot be shaken nor can I be moved. I am a force that cannot be rebuked and a spirit that cannot be tamed.

I want you to know Minaa B.

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