You know that little ol saying…. everything happens for a reason
I bet you do, and I bet you find yourself citing that phrase religiously every time you find yourself in a new predicament of life. Everything happens for a reason… this person must have come into my life for a reason, I must have gotten this job offer for a reason, this opportunity must have come about for a reason. The grasp for reasoning never stops, the question marks continue to float over ones head until the answers are concrete.
I remember when I used to live life assuming that I would be the author and the finisher of every circumstance I just so happened to be a part of. In my opinion, if you were in my life it was for a reason, if an opportunity came my way it was for a reason. Everything in life I viewed as happening for a reason and I never realized how problematic this theory could be. One of the most common grounds that this theory is used in is in the context of relationships. Now don’t sit here and act like you never thought to yourself… hmm, I wonder why God put this person in my life; it must be for a reason. And if you’re a female, you know you’ve fallen victim to this plenty of times.
The problem with reasoning is that we are human beings that are driven by our egos and our desires. I remember when I found myself searching high and low for why God placed me in a particular person’s life. I felt inclined to remain actively present in the life of this person even though I knew my presence was never appreciated. To be honest, I decided on my own to play the savior role in this person’s life because that’s exactly what I felt I was called to. I defined my reasoning as the need to help this person despite the fact that I do not have the supernatural ability to save someone. I wanted to see this person grow and have a new outlook on life and I wanted to make sure that it was I who was the key ingredient to that change.
What became problematic is that this particular relationship did not play out how I expected it to. I didn’t understand why this person didn’t change or grow into the person I felt they had the potential to be. I continued to be in this person’s life while I also continued searching for all the reasons why I felt God had placed me there. But there I was, making the situation all about me, using excuses like everything happens for a reason when in actuality those reasons had come to pass a long time ago, I was just focused on getting my way.
The problem with practically all of mankind is the desire to be the author and the finisher of every situation that comes our way. We fail to realize that all though God handed us a book with blank pages He never told us that we would be writing the whole story line. The first problem with this theory is who is defining those reasons for us… most of the time, we are! And tell me… who exactly do you think you are? God never told you that you could save that person, so why do you believe changing this person’s life is the reason why you are a part of it in the first place? Sometimes we can be so focused on writing the whole book when God only meant for you to write one chapter. But our desires love to have conclusions; we must see “The End” before we can move forward when sometimes God never planned on even allowing you get that far into the story line.
We love to use this theory in every aspect of our lives and I wonder if our reasoning ever really aligns with Gods (since we love to put him in this mix of this) of course it doesn’t, because we are self-seeking individuals, and unless we turn away from ourselves and look to God and his will not ours, we will always be searching for reasons not even knowing those reasons already came to pass. But then what about those reasons that you aren’t ready for? You think you know so much until God lays a good one on you from left field.
I remember feeling so miserable working a job I had and deep in my heart I knew I needed to quit this job and take some time off from work. Me? Not work and receive zero paychecks? Yeah okay, so I went on and found myself a new job. In my head all I could think to myself was wow God, I can’t wait to see how far you take me, the reasons for me being here must be so big. Well my being there didn’t last long at all, I remember God making it very clear to me that my only reason for me being there was for me to realize that I truly deserved and needed to step away from working. Who the heck ends a chapter like that? All I could think of was you brought me here and had me go through horrible hours of nonsense training just to tell me that I must leave. In my eyes this is not how my book was to be written, but I felt like he was only allowing me to write chapter one when in my eyes I was meant to be the author and the finisher.
So I left, and what would’ve happened if I had stayed there? I would’ve continued to look for something that was already revealed to me from day one. Who wants to live a life like that?! I would hope no one.
A lot of the time reasons for things are revealed to us and because it is not what we desire we continue to search. Stop looking for what’s already been revealed to you. There is only one author and finisher, and sorry to rain on your parade but it’s not you. The next time you think to yourself that things are happening for a reason take the time to analyze what’s in front of you. The next time you get caught up in the idea of everything happens for a reason, make sure those reasons didn’t already come to pass.