I wonder how many times she had to go around those mountains before she really came to wherever it is she was destined to go.
Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way that until you’ve come across what you’re destined to find on that mountain you will find yourself going in circles continuously until you get it right.
On a Sunday afternoon I was having brunch with a friend which always results in a great conversation and a talk about our busy lives around work and school. I had a long week prior to our meet up and I knew I needed some encouragement around my trivial circumstances. Life just seems overwhelming, which is how I basically started the conversation. School is driving me insane and work has got me feeling burnt out. I’m so broke I can’t even go to therapy to process all these emotions and to be honest; I just started to feel stuck.
I came to a conclusion of what I want to do with my life (to please my ego) and right now I’m in a season of my life that I honestly can admit, I don’t want to be in. We all go through different seasons in our lives, now I’m not talking about seasons in regards to the weather that would be stupid. I’m talking about the different phases we go through in life whether it is challenges, transformation or growth. To make it more clear, right now I am about to enter a season of change and transformation. If you’ve read many of my posts I’ve mentioned that I will be graduating from Grad school in two months and I also will be moving out of my native land called NYC to a place where I can actually see the sky instead of ridiculous sky-scrapers and I can enjoy the luxury of seeing nature and not brick buildings.
The future is contiguous and I’m excited. But I’m not there yet, I’m still here, in the present and the season that I am currently in is a season where my faith and confidence in myself and God is being tested, how lucky am I! Truth is, I’m at a point in life where in order for me to succeed and fulfill the desires of my heart I first have to learn how to get through what it is that I’m going through. So what am I going through you might be wondering? Well, although the future seems very bright, I’ve come face to face with fear every time I look towards where I am trying to go. My faith and my confidence have been at war and all I can think to myself is how the heck am I going to get through this. Now to be clearer, my faith and confidence issues are all work related. Look, I’m about to graduate from grad school with a pile of student loans to face in six months and with the job market out there I’ve been trying to stretch my confidence enough so that I can believe that somebody would be willing to hire me.
Besides, when you’re training to be a psychotherapist, your confidence is always on the edge every time you meet with a client. These complete strangers trust you with their personal lives and are allowing you to offer your services to them! Well isn’t that something. But any who, after I poured all my problems, worries and complaints onto my friend she said something to me that shifted my perspective in a quick second. When God gives us something he knows the duration, God knows what my heart desires and He also knows what it is I plan to do with my life career wise, so to be placed where I am in life there’s a lesson involved and no matter what we do we always have an opportunity to learn, but that’s our choice.
When we face circumstances that don’t seem to align with what our calling is, you better make sure you use that time to understand why you’re in that situation in the first place. I know a lot of people who face problems and majority of the time the reasons why they make horrible decisions is because it is a reflection of their sense of self and who they are as a person. Too many times people pick up and move or change courses because they think a change in environment will lead to a change in situations, they fail to realize that they are the primary antagonist in their own obstacles.
And what makes it worse, is until you get it, you will always be going around the same mountain. Who wants to live a life like that? You can hate your job, but until you get what it is that God is trying to reveal to you, you can go ahead and find a new job but you will most likely hate it all over again. Why? Because instead of searching within and learning what God was trying to reveal to you, you decided to run from it, but unfortunately you can’t run from God, and until you get it right you will face a never-ending course of obstacles that will look exactly the same. Don’t be like Jonah.
Self-reflect. Are you running from yourself? Have you been placed in a season that has been difficult to endure and you just can’t seem to make sense of it? Do you find yourself running from something you know you need to be a part of? Here’s your choice, you can either keep running or you can endure it and stick it out. I may not know you personally, but I am confident enough to believe that what you’re facing isn’t going to kill you, and if it’s not going to be the death of you, it sounds like it should be applied to you. Don’t find yourself coming around the same mountain over and over again.