Okay. Just call me your life consultant when it comes to managing your life as a young adult, and free of charge.
Your twenties are valuable years that do not come with a return or exchange label. Your twenties are ultimately your years of foundation, a seed waiting to be planted. Don’t be a good example of a bad example.
1. YOLO: You Only Live Once
Foolishness, foolishness, foolishness. First of all, Jesus Christ shut this saying down over 2,000 years ago way before it even existed but anyway, go ahead and make a fool of yourself and see where that lands you. It’s one thing to take a leap of faith in life, or say screw it and stuff your face with chocolate lava cake with a dollop of vanilla ice cream on top. Or, to go to the bank and file for a credit card and book a trip to Turks & Caicos three weeks in advance because you were in desperate need of a vacation and decided to act irrational (yes, I’m guilty of all of the above). This is a different type of YOLO, you know the type that doesn’t bear heavy consequences.
I want to address the ignorant version. The one where people go out and party, sleep around, do drugs, the person that goes out messes shit up then leaves and has the audacity to say YOLO! The ones who slander their reputation because you only get one chance in life to impress people, so why not do it the foolish way. You know those people who just do meaningless things, like get a tattoo that says YOLO. It’s a bunch of folly under the sun, a chasing after the wind.
2. “Money is my motivator”
Oh really? You have now bounded yourself with shackles and chains and will remain a slave to the one that you worship.
3. Taking your time
As soon as you finish reading this sentence one minute of your life will go by. After reading this post about ten minutes of your life will go by. See how easy it is for life to fly right pass you! Do you think time goes on a standstill until you decide to get yourself together? Negative. Understand that time is not on your side, so while you’re out there daydreaming instead of making those dreams reality, you better hope death doesn’t snatch you up first.
Yes, people in their twenties are also susceptible to death just like other human beings in different age brackets.
4. Looking for love in all the wrong places…
Like in the bar, the strip club, the night club, with a married man, or married woman. On the internet, on a dating app. At your job (I’m lenient with this one) your best friends leftovers. On Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and I’m sure you can fill in the blanks. I’m also sure you don’t need me to explain why this is a bad idea.
5. Being a follower
You hopped on the bandwagon and what exit did you find yourself getting off at? I’m sure it’s the same place you got on. Being a follower gets you nowhere. Instead of following the crowd you should be leading it. There is only one you in this world that will ever exist, do you want your legacy to be…
Wait a minute. You will have no legacy if you go through life trying to live through someone else. Your legacy will just be a rip off and in the end you’re only fooling yourself.
6. Holding onto excess baggage
Please leave all the drama, gossip and who hates who nonsense in High School. Your twenties are ultimately a new chance for you to get your act together and to basically have a fresh start. The childish immature version of you should be left in High School and you should be ready to face your adult years with maturity. So why bring with you all the nonsense that should be left in your past. “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it” – Lena Horne
7. Holding onto “friends”
It’s time to do an accountability checklist: Examine your “friends”, do you trust them? Do you they keep it real with you? Are they thrilled by your achievements? Are they determined to make you a better you? Are they determined to better themselves? Are they there with you through the valleys and the storms? Are they supportive? Do they make it their business to be in your business? Do they respect you? Do they stay updated on your life? Do they make attempts to keep in contact with you? Do you actually see them in person? Do they celebrate you?
If you answered no or even had to question any of the above, it’s time to clean out house and get rid of the so-called friends you’re still hanging on tight to. I’ve grown to learn and accept that not everyone you surround yourself with is healthy for you, despite how fun and appealing they are. I’ve grown out of a lot of friendships but for each one you lose there’s always one to gain.
8. Forgetting your etiquette
You’re an adult now, so it’s time to learn how to act like one, starting with professionalism and manners. If you need to brush up on your interview skills then now is the time, learn how to address people and how to properly conduct yourself. That means learn how to conduct a conversation without using slang or curse words. Also, don’t go trying to impress people using fancy words that you can’t even pronounce, you’re only making yourself look bad.
9. Acting like money grows on trees
I know you want to look young and successful so you’re tempted to buy that brand new BMW or go shopping every weekend to fill your closet with designer labels, but unless you’re already out of college making six-figures it sounds like you need to budget a little harder instead of ballin out of control.
10. Retiring the need to read books
Why is that there are people in their twenties who can’t articulate in a professional manner? If they’re not busy mispronouncing words they’re usually interrupting their own sentences with the word “like”. If that’s not the case some people can’t even comprehend books that are written for their age bracket. This is a problem, put down your iPhone’s and Android’s, stop uploading pictures on Instagram of your dinner and your new pair of shoes and pick up a book and read. Understand that I am not the auto-correct police and I am not as skilled in the grammar department compared to others, but if you’re in a phase of your life where you’re going to be needing professional references and networking is down your avenue you better be ready to sound like an adult when you speak. I could imagine what some people’s resumes look like.
What kills me is when I see people uploading pictures on Instagram all day boasting about their fabulous life and their fabulous adventures and when it’s time to read their caption you would’ve thought a kindergartener uploaded the pic.
11. Not knowing how to “turn down”
And now you’re probably asking me “turn down for what”? How about a decent job and a degree! People know how to turn up but don’t even know how to properly fill out a job application. Every weekend people are flexing on Instagram talking about how its “turn up” time and my question is for what? What have you accomplished from Mon-Fri that you think you deserve to be turning up every weekend? Just because you bought the latest pair of Jordan’s, you own a pair of Louboutin’s and for the fact that it’s Saturday doesn’t mean you should be turning anything up. This leads me post twelve…
12. Forgetting to treat yourself
This is the legitimate turn up time, but I like to call it a “hot date” or a treat yourself date. As a full-time student enrolled in a Graduate program and practically working a full-time internship doing group therapy with fifteen clients, I think it’s safe to say I deserve to be turning up on my days off. Mon-Thurs is reason enough for me to deserve being able to relax and enjoy my weekends.
Don’t get so caught up in striving to be the next best thing that you forget that you also need a moment for rest. In Social Work school we call it “self-care”. You don’t want to be burnt out by the time you reach 25 or even 30. You owe it to yourself to treat yourself. On the flip-side, if your Mon-Fri doesn’t do anything to benefit you moving forward, the only thing you need to be turning up on is a book, some job skills and the essentials to better your life.
13. Working Illegal jobs
This is for all of you who have ever done a credit card scam on me or any of my friends! For those who think they’re entrepreneurs because their clients are crack-addicts and weed heads that keep coming back for more, you are not a business man, you are just another slave to the streets . For all of you sociopath’s who get off on robbing people and think that getting by in life is based on monetary gain while you defraud others…. I would tell you to go to hell but that’s not what Jesus would do, so I’ll go repent, what I will say is get your life together. You are another product of the environment and no matter how many cars, chains and vacations you gain from your illegal thrills; you will reap what you sew.
Yesss, this is coming from a woman scorn.
14. Forgetting to explore the world
Remember back in point 12 when I told you to treat yourself? Well vacations are included in that package. I’ve traveled many places but there is one travel experience that I will never forget, and that is my trip to California that I took by myself. It had to be the best experience of my life and satisfying for my soul. I dare you to step out of your comfort zone and travel somewhere alone. It will by far be one of the best things you’ve done for yourself.
15. Taking advice from bitter single people
Listen, just because you are in your twenties doesn’t mean you cannot date or think about marriage. There are many people who will tell you that you’re wasting your time by leaving room open for a relationship. Those people most likely enjoy the company of cats (which are from Satan).
I hear people talking about people who date or get married in their twenties are getting caught up in insecure love and wanting to live a life hiding behind their partner which tells me those are the people who need to reevaluate themselves and get a better understanding on what love really is. Please don’t get me started!
16. Forgetting to have your cake…. and eat it too.
You will come across a lot of people in their twenties who are moochers, prey, just waiting around to devour every bit of you and your generosity. Unfortunately, there are also a lot of twenty-something’s out there who are bums and will wait for you to pity the fool. You have a right to do whatever you want without feeling the need to please someone else.
17. Being a bum
You sit around doing nothing all day, your lazy, not working, extending your hand out to others, being a stalker on Instagram and all other social media outlets and ultimately your living a life consisted of nothingness. You’re a bum. Plain and simple. Luckily for you, that can be undone. I don’t mean to sound harsh but let’s face it, there’s a lot of young twenty-something’s who are just outright bums and are living meaningless lives.
If you fall into this category it’s never too late to find your passion and be motivated to do something with your life. Twitter has become the number one social media source for networking and finding out about jobs because there are so many companies utilizing this social outlet. Take advantage of it and be productive with your life.
18. Soul searching
I said it loud and clear in my previous post so I’m simply going to repeat myself….
Stop telling yourself that you are still searching for yourself
Where did you go in the first place? If you’re lost, go look in the mirror. It happens far too often that people are endlessly soul-searching because they are too busy trying to be like the next person. Do you really not know who you are or are you struggling trying to embrace who you are. You know damn well who you are, but you live in a world that tells you what is perceived as acceptable from how to dress, what your body weight should be, whether your hair should be permed or natural, from what religion you should be practicing, the food you should be processing and even the career that you should be taking.
And then what happens…. people walk around aimlessly trying to find the next best thing all because “the world” says you should be doing it or that it’s cool. The end result? You end up with bruises instead of gratifying rewards. No one told you that you don’t have permission to be yourself; you did, when you decided to go searching for someone else when you knew who you were all along.
19. Listening to meaningless advice
Oh how crucial this is, allow me to repeat myself again…
Please understand that there are plenty people in this world that will enjoy serving you a platter of their meaningless opinions, a bunch of folly under the sun. I am quite perplexed at the ideas from young people to other young people about what their twenties are for. The awful advice I have come across includes: kiss a stranger, get a tattoo, dye your hair purple, date two or three people at once, get drunk every weekend, stop thinking about marriage, practice a few religions, have a one-night stand and the blasphemed list goes on and on.
Please tell me how any of the above will get you far in life, sounds like it’ll leave you sitting in a puddle of regret.
20. Forgetting to love thyself
Yes, another redundant point. But let’s be real, if you don’t love yourself then all the other 19 points I just made are irrelevant. When you don’t love yourself you will ultimately be a bum because you don’t have an understanding of the value your life has. You will always be soul-searching because you’re so uncomfortable being who you are. You will always end up doing meaningless things, chasing after the wind. You will always allow others to walk all over you and take what’s rightfully yours because you don’t understand your worth and your value. I’m just sayin!
When you know how to love yourself, you know how to forgive yourself when you make all other 19 mistakes. In the end, the love you have for yourself should be the fuel to your fire, it’s what keeps you motivated because you understand you deserve to live the best life that you possibly can.