Selfish 20’s


Your twenties: the years your narcissism should be at its highest altitude & selflessness and selfishness are your key attributes….. Okay, okay don’t take this arbitrary definition to heart but I hope you catch my drift after you read this.

You never get to relive your twenties… yeah, so sad, I had to come to terms with that as well.

Time is on no man’s side, so why are young people still working lame jobs, being mediocre, stuffing their faces with Nutella because they’re single and being plane ol boring… ”

Ain’t nobody got time for that!

This is where my indignation begins….

In my fabulous opinion, here are 14 things every person in their twenty’s should be accomplishing or setting goals for.

1. Love thyself
Currently singing out loud: “Say I, look so good tonight God damn, God damn, God damn. I’m Flawless

2. Education
College, technical school, whatever it is, this piece of paper gets you far… to some degree but like Oscar Wilde said “you can never be overdressed or over-educated”

3. Just Do it

Though I am an advocate for higher education I also am an advocate for those who have a vision and if school isn’t for you, it just isn’t!

We live in a modern era where sometimes the best qualification one can possess is creativity. If you have a passion to do something that doesn’t require any sort of certification with a title stamped by an institute then what are you waiting for? Be bold and just do it!

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why – Mark Twain

4. Quit your aimless job

If the best part of your job is payday, that’s a problem. If payday isn’t even that great of a day for you… damn.

Why are your breaking your back from intensive labor and a ridiculous paycheck just to continue to put money in your boss’s pockets? Life is way too short for you to be caught up in early retirement and pension benefits. I walked away from a government job at 21 and walked straight into my passion. Who the hell wants to be doing pat downs and airport bag checks for a living, I sure didn’t.

I aspire to insult people with my dreams, so I quit, and you should too.

5. Travel

If your passport is being used as a form of personal identification…. “Houston, we have a problem”

6. Go on a “hot date”

This here is no ordinary date. This is the date where you get all dolled up, put on your best dressed attire and while doing so you’re rocking out to Beyonce’s flawless track because you know you look good as hell. You then proceed to take yourself to the hottest spot and enjoy every moment of it. This can also be applied to taking oneself out to the movies, a restaurant, museum and any other location that you desire.

The goal here is to be your own date, there’s something that screams confidence when you see a person who’s bold enough to do as they please without the need to have a chaperone aka their friends tag along with them. There’s plenty of time in the calendar year to hang out with your friends. Give yourself the ability to stand out and the room to enjoy your own company.

7. Stop following the crowd when you should be leading it

Stop being a conformist, which gets you nowhere. Who ever got far ahead in life from being the last man standing in line? Stop focusing on what other people are doing when you should be doing something that will make people want to focus on you. At this point in life you should be tired of spending your time and energy on giving people room to stand on their own pedestals. Knock them off that damn thing and get on it yourself.

8. Stop telling yourself that you are still searching for yourself

Where did you go in the first place? If you’re lost, go look in the mirror. It happens far too often that people are endlessly soul searching because they are too busy trying to be like the next person. Do you really not know who you are or are you struggling trying to embrace who you are. You know damn well who you are, but you live in a world that tells you what is perceived as acceptable from how to dress, what your body weight should be, whether your hair should be permed or natural, from what religion you should be practicing, the food you should be processing and even the career that you should be taking.

And then what happens…. people walk around aimlessly trying to find the next best thing all because “the world” says you should be doing it or that it’s cool. The end result? You end up with bruises instead of gratifying rewards. No one told you that you don’t have permission to be yourself; you did, when you decided to go searching for someone else when you knew who you were all along.

9. You’re single? Accept it

Always the Bridesmaid, and Never the Bride: Singleness Go read it

10. Engaged, Married, Baby daddy issues?

No one said any of the above will stop you from living. You in fact, should be more determined to live a fruitful life with the new life you have created for yourself. Whether its marriage or being a parent there is a reason why you have been given the gift of having a child or the rewards of entering into a new covenant. Explore the world and challenge yourself every day. As you grow as a couple or a family set goals for yourself and accomplish them as a team.

Having a child is a major obligation but from the moment of conception every move you make should be to better yourself so that you can better the future of your child. Show the world what it’s like to be a parent who not only is successful at raising a child but at maintaining a successful life as well. This also applies to those with baby mama drama as well.

11. Learn how to say no

I swear I can’t stand when people ask me to do things they know they have no business asking me to do in the first place.

No, I will not drive you around if you are not putting gas in my car. No, I am not allowing you to borrow anything else of mines because you never gave my last item back. No, I do not want to work overtime when you barely pay me enough. No, I am not going to work a High School qualified position when I have a degree. No, you cannot have half of my dinner. No, you cannot touch my hair. No, you cannot take me on a meaningless date. No, I will not change who I am, my wants and my desires to make you feel more important.

12. Network

This here always requires you to step out from under your safety net and learn to meet new people. Networking happens anywhere from a coffee shop, social event, restaurants and even church. Showcase yourself when you meet people, build connections and stay on top of your game. In this world we live in, access is truly granted in regards to who you know. So start getting to know people

13. “Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and the thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself. – Edmund Lee

14. Stop listening to meaningless advice
I hope I don’t need to start quoting King Solomon here…

Please understand that there are plenty people in this world that will enjoy serving you a platter of their meaningless opinions, a bunch of folly under the sun. I am quite perplexed at the ideas from young people to other young people about what their twenties are for. The awful advice I have come across includes: kiss a stranger, get a tattoo, dye your hair purple, date two or three people at once, get drunk every weekend, stop thinking about marriage, practice a few religions, have a one-night stand and the blasphemed list goes on and on.

Please tell me how any of the above will get you far in life, sounds like it’ll leave you sitting in a puddle of regret.

I admit I’m a little bias and I’m fully aware that I am also serving out my opinion as well, but what’s important in life is how can you grow to be a better you each and every day without having to ruin your dignity and slander your integrity.

Besides, what do you gain from foolishness, nothing its all meaningless, a chasing after the wind.


5 thoughts on “Selfish 20’s

  1. This is a wonderful piece! As a post-20something (32), I definitely miss my 20s but I’ve gained perspective about the hits and misses of that decade. I agree that living life should be enjoyable, not tolerable.

    • Glad you enjoyed this! Yes, living life should definitely be an enjoyable process. When those hits and misses come its just something to look back at and grow.

      Continue to stop by!

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